The People's Common Sense Medical Advisor By R.V. Pierce M.D. - The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing

Oh i went to the hospital

'Cause i was feeling weird

I must have wait half a day

Before i got a seeing

The doctor wasn’t sympathetic

But he had a beard

Spectacles were shiny

His hand were nice and clean

He looked me up and down

And then began to frown

He (??) up his finger

And drew a deep breath

He said that my condition

Had a medical definition

He looked sharp into my eye

And this is what he said

How many times a day do you masturbate

How frequently do you give in to the shame of self abuse

How often is your jizzing brought about through onanism

I sugest this self polution is the reason you’re confused

Said that when i’m at home

I must leave my cock alone

My onanistic habits

Were the source of all my grief

He said that the (??)

Had made themselves insane

Through the act of self relief

I’m sorry doc, i mean, i’m not a learned man like you but i just don’t see the

conection.

Well, this is getting rather tiresome, please try and engage with the process.

Now answer, i’ll ask one more time, ready?

Well, alright doc, you are the professional, i’ll give it a go.

Good man.

It’s amazing what’s arousing

Once you’ve set you mind to douse

In the erotic flame that warms a boiler

Of your carnal parts

The slightest stimulation

So excites imagination

You find your hand inside your pants

And self polution starts

Look, maybe you don’t understand the seriousness of the situation.

If I may refer to page 286 of The Peoples’s Common Sense Medical Advisor.

That’s the book you wrote isn’t it, doc?

It is indeed, you can see my name on the spine there, Harvey Pierce MD,

page 286 I said.

Untaught miseries arrive from the polution of the body, self polution or

onanism is one of the most prolific sources of evil.

Since it leads to both

degradation of body and mind.

The habit, once stablished, is overcome with the

greatest difficulty.

This vicious habit, often practiced by those ignorant of

it’s dangerous results.

Statistics show that insanity is frequently caused by

marturbation.

Fuckin hell.

Precisely.

Well doc, i think you’ve convinced me, showing me the error of my ways,

the path has opened to me, so…

I’m gonna reduce the number of times a day I masturbate

Cut down the frequency of my shamefull self abuse

Bring about my jizzing through sex not onanism

I can see this self polution is the reason I’m confused

By god i think he’s got it!

Thank you very much indeed, doctor!

No trouble at all.

I’ll shake you by the hand.

I’d rather you didn’t.

Alright, fair enough, anyway, see you later.

Goodbye.

Nurse, could you send in the next patient, please.

Hello there, doc.

Hello, what seems to be the problem?

I’ve done me leg, i think it’s, huh, i think it’s broken.

Really… How many times a day do you masturbate?