Trouble in Tahiti - An Opera in Seven Scenes: Scene VI:"What a movie!" - Leonard Bernstein

What a movie!

What a terrible, awful movie!

It’s a crime what they put

On the screen!

I can hardly believe what I’ve seen!

Do they think we’re a lot of children?

It would bore any four year old!

What drivel!

What nonsense!

What escapist Technicolor twaddle!

«Trouble in Tahiti,» indeed!

«Trouble in Tahiti,» imagine!

There she is in her inch or two of sarong

Floating, floating, floating, all among the

Floating flowers

Then she sees him, the handsome American

(I must say he’s really a man

Six feet tall, and each foot just incredible!)

Well, they’re madly in love

But there’s trouble ahead;

There’s a legend:

«If a princess marry white man, and rain fall that day

Then the white man shall be sacrifice without delay.»

Sure enough, on the night of their wedding day

There’s a storm like nothing on earth;

Tidal waves and siroccos and hurricanes;

And to top it all off

The volcano erupts

As the natives sing: Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Olé!

They go crazy with the drumming and the chanting and ritual dance

While the lovers sing a ballad of South Seas romance

It’s so lovely, I wish I could think of it;

Da da dee da da…

It was called «Island Magic,»

I think it was

Oh, a beautiful song!

I remember it now:

«Island Magic, where the midnight breezes caress us

And the stars above

Seem to bless us

That’s Island Magic, Island Magic.»

Well, in any case, the hero is tied to a tree

(Did I tell you he’s a flyer

Who got lost at sea?)

Anyway, all the natives are crazy now

Running wild with lances and knives;

Then they pile up the wood for the sacrifice

And the witch doctor comes

And he sets it on fire

As the natives sing: Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Olé!

But at this point, comes the good old U.S. Navy

A-singin' a song

They come swarming down in parachutes a thousand strong!

Everything now is cleared up and wonderful:

Everyone is happy as pie;

And they all do a great rumba version of «Island Magic» of course!

It’s a dazzling sight;

With the sleek brown native women dancing with the U.S. Navy boys

And a hundred-piece symphony orchestra:

Island Magic!

Where the palm trees whisper together

And it’s always warm summer weather

That’s Island Magic

Island Magic!

With the one I love very near;

Island Magic, Whispering native words in my ear

Island Magic

Only you, my darling, could weave it

And I never ever will leave it

And I simply cannot believe

It really is mine!

Island Magic!

Island Ma…"

What a terrible, awful movie!!!

How long have I been standing here chattering?

If I don’t get going this minute, there won’t be any dinner

When Sam comes home!