Mungojerrie And Rumpelteazer - Andrew Lloyd Webber, "Cats" 1981 Original London Cast, John Thornton

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

We’re a notorious couple of cats

As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians

Tight rope walkers and acrobats

They had an extensive reputation

They make our home in Victoria Grove

That was merely their center of operation

For they were incurably given to rove

If the area window is found ajar

And the basement looked like a field of war

If a tile or two came loose on the roof

Which presently seems to be waterproof

If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests

And you couldn’t find one of your winter vests

Or after supper one of the girls

Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls

Then the family would say, «It's that horrible cat

It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer»

And most of the time they left it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Had an unusual gift of the gab

They were highly efficient cat burglars as well

And remarkably smart at a smash and grab

They make our home in Victoria Grove

They had no regular occupation

They were plausible fellows who like to engage

A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner

Their minds made up that they wouldn’t get thinner

On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens

Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes

And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow

«I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow

The joint has gone from the oven like that»

The family will say, «It's that horrible cat

It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer»

And most of the time they left it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Have a wonderful way of working together

And some of the time you would say it was luck

And some of the time you would say it was weather

They go through the house like a hurricane

And no sober person could take his oath

Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?

Or could you have sworn that it mightn’t be both?

And when you heard a dining room smash

Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash

Or down from the library came a loud ping

From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming

Then the family would say, «Now which was which cat?

It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer»

And there’s nothing at all could be done about that

And there’s nothing at all to be done about that