Someone's Been Sending Me Flowers - Blossom Dearie, Phil Scorgie

Someone’s been sending me flowers

Oh what a sweet thing to do

every new day brings another bouquet

but I just don’t know who to say thank you to

sometimes they’re thrown through my window

down through my chimney they fall

sometimes at night when I turn out the light

they come through a crack in the wall

now that my house is a garden

bursting with blossoms in bloom

I stand there for hours admiring my flowers

I’d like to lie down but there’s just isn’t room

someone’s been sending me flowers

more than I ever have had

remarkable stuff but enough is enough

if I see another bouquet I’ll go mad.

He started by sending me bluebells

oddly enough they were grey

each faded bloom had a nasty perfume

besides being grey they were papier-mâché

there followed a garden of fungus

and then as a tropical treat

he sent me a plant that proceeded to pant

and later began to eat meat

the cactus corsage touched me deeply

beautiful plant in its prime

I felt much the same when the rock garden came

one rock at a time

somebody madly adores me

I know not whom to suspect

since I cannot afford to be madly adored

I do wish you’d stop sending flowers

collect