Holding on to a Gun - Caskey

Your memory is like holdin' on to a gun\nI ain’t heard your voice in so many months\nIf there’s a Heaven, you would think they’d let you call your son\nLife, death, and sufferin', all in one (All in one, oh)\nYour memory is like holdin' on to a gun (Holdin' a gun, oh)\nI ain’t heard your voice in so many months (So many months, oh)\nIf there’s a Heaven, you would think they’d let you call your son (Callin' your\nson, oh, oh, oh)\nI ain’t heard your voice in so many months\nWhen you died, rolled your ashes up inside a blunt\nIf that’s a sin, Lord forgive me for that one\nI was tryna see you again, you’d never come\nI don’t know if you understand what you did to mom\nShe cried tears for a year straight, was holdin' on\nI had so much to say to you, but I’d hold my tongue\nYears later, I’m still tryin' hard to overcome\nI’m afraid of the day that I gotta hold my son\nKnowin' you the example that I was molded from\nRun away from this depression, I’ve been overrun\nShot yourself in the crib, it was a hole in one, nobody celebrated\nI guess you couldn’t handle you and mom bein' separated\nTried to quit the drugs, all it did was accelerate it\nPolice picked me up from school, I didn’t understand\nSaw the look on mom’s face, it hit me like a van\nKnew you was gone, at sunrise you was there in my home\nBy the time dawn came around, nothin' was normal\nChanged everything about me, why I’m stuck in this form\nWhere even on the sunny days, I’m so fearful of storms\nThey say when somebody dies that another is born\nI’d trade everyone for you to come and see me perform\nWhat’s the use of all the money and the jewelry I’ve worn?\nYou died, but you never rose, all I got was the thorns\nYour memory is like holdin' on to a gun (Holdin' a gun, oh)\nI ain’t heard your voice in so many months (So many months, oh)\nIf there’s a Heaven, you would think they’d let you call your son (Callin' your\nson, oh)\nLife, death, and sufferin', all in one (All in one, oh)\nYour memory is like holdin' on to a gun (Holdin' a gun, oh)\nI ain’t heard your voice in so many months (So many months, oh)\nIf there’s a Heaven, you would think they’d let you call your son (Callin' your\nson, oh, oh, oh)\nLife, death, and sufferin', all in one