a selfish holiday gift - cøzybøy

How many times did I say I wanted true love?

When you read me stories and held me to your breast, yeah

And how many times did I ask I wanted to stay up?

(Wanted to stay up)

But my daddy told me I should go to bed, yeah

And they left me there

Wide awake so excited

I crept downstairs

And heard something break in the room

Oh and then my dad left the room

And I said mommy, please don’t cry (Don't cry)

Oh, I’ll stay up with you all night (All night)

We’ll eat the cookies off the mantle by the lights (By the lights)

And she said baby it’s alright (Alright)

Just look around it’s warm and bright (And bright)

But I still felt so cold upon that winter night

I was five

Oh, I was 5, oh

Oh, I was 5

Oh, I was 5, oh

And that star on the tree

That I cannot reach

Is looming weighted over me

And the presents beneath

Don’t mean shit to me

If I can’t have my family

On this Christmas eve

I can’t let you leave

I need you to stay, here with me

But these little hands

No, they can’t grasp

Anything

So I said mommy, please don’t cry

Oh, I’ll stay up with you all night (All night)

We’ll eat the cookies off the mantle by the lights (By the lights)

And she said baby it’s alright (Alright)

Just look around it’s warm and bright (And bright)

But I still felt so cold upon that winter night

I was five

And they left me there

They left me there, oh yeah

So on the 25th tonight

I’ll just wash my .45

And pull the only thing that I can hold tonight

And I wrote mommy please don’t cry

Just know I loved you all my life

There’s just so much shit I feel at 25

So this is goodbye