California Christmastime - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Rachel Bloom, Vincent Rodriguez III

Well, you can take your snow and shove it

This is our Christmas and we love it

It’s a hundred degrees, this elf is Vietnamese

That’s the way that California does it

Even our Santa has a suntan

He’s also an unemployed stuntman

Is he even awake?

Yeah, I’m just really baked

If he can be Santa Claus, anyone can!

California Christmastime

It’s just a Golden State of mind

Chet’s nuts roasting in the bright sunlight!

Put on some pants, Chet!

And what would Christmas be without

Historically low mountain snow causing staggering drought

But hey, this eggnog fro-yo's super tight!

Super tight!

'Cause this is California

And we do Christmas right!

Mmm, so good!

California Christmastime

Don we now our surf apparel

And we have our own kind of Christmas carol

It’s this chick named Carol

She does henna tattoos

Carol’s fifty, but no judgement

She’s still finding herself

We’re all finding ourselves!

Okay, there is no easy answer

For our high rates of skin cancer

It took my dad’s life

And it killed my wife

Hang ten, Rudolph and Prancer!

California Christmastime

We gather 'round and sing songs by Sublime

And all our local reggae bands are white

The kids get lots of toys on Christmas morn

'Cause daddy makes big bucks directing porn

They may have gonorrhea

But at least it’s not frostbite!

It’s not frostbite!

'Cause this is California

And we do Christmas right!

California Christmastime

California Christmastime

California Christmastime

California Christmastime

California Christmastime

California Christmastime

California Christmastime

Calif…

You have places to be, I get it