Find Yourself - Eligh, Paris Hayes

He was a child of the 80's

Used to bat his eyelashes smile at the ladies

Sit a _ round single file like a crazy

Boy with a small frame parents called him lazy

Used to entertain himself his drawings were amazing

Come up in the backyard trees for a gazing

At the skies over Echo Park a live education

Gunshots blazin he would hide in his _

Called imagination he would rise to occasion

When it involved his interest and pride with no patience

Kid couldn’t wait used to steal what he wanted

Learned Karma quick he could feel when he fronted

Didn’t feel good but he wanted to part of

Didn’t know behavior like this would be the start of

Low self-esteem and a dream deferred

Started makin stories didn’t mean the word

Writing became the art that he preferred

He liked to assemble manipulate verbs

He was shy and sprung

Got took advantage of and didn’t mind once

Just a little boy feelin hurt like a man

Played like a toy violin in her hand

Mom used to take him to buy them some gifts

Never once got him a kiss on the lips

Homie got smashed on the floor when they dissed

He liked girls young and he didn’t know why

Couldn’t know himself yet couldn’t even try…

Teenager of the 90's

Talent getting bigger but self-esteem tiny

Found himself a little, squad or brigade

Odd man out on the quad in the shade

Started growin dreads cause he wanted to be different

Didn’t give a shit about the classes he was missin

Sprung on a bad girl tension on a mission

Life in peril on the path of addiction

Started smokin cigarettes and weed out in _

Walkman bumpin didn’t think he needed to listen

To the teachers who gave him a ride home after school

Tried to talk to him he was actin like a fool

Wanted to be cool didn’t want to be a mule

All around wuss gettin told what to do

Stupid young dude with his nuts in a vice

Ended up having death threats on his life

Fuckin homies girlfriends never felt worse

So he dropped out of school started drinkin and at first

It was fun felt good he was brave writed fast

Rapped on a crew in a cabin in a path

Livin in a studio not makin any cash

Mom kicked him out straight dumped on his ass

Smoking weed all day 16 on a fast

Track to the grave couldn’t know himself yet

Now it’s 96

Started puttin acid on his tongue to take a trip

Made his first tape home made made a trip

Was the hustle he was taught by his homies on the strip

Telegraph laugh had a vibe you could feel

Long island iced teas to survive with the steel

In his hand on the stage he was scared to be real

_ with a page he would hide on the field

On the stage no yield

Started poppin ecstasy beginning of the pills

Killin of his energy it mentally appealed

They were all experimenting but he thought he was healed

Travelin the world in and out of any girl

Livin like a rockstar at home he would curl

In a ball on the floor could he fall any further

Hell yeah heroin called and he heard emmm

Now he didn’t give a fuck

Wasn’t makin music cause he didn’t give a fuck

Had to get a fix or his body would be stuck

More than down on his luck to the drug he was enslaved

Didn’t give a damn what his friends say

Wanted to be done so he bowed to the sensai

Surrendering rendering faith

Found himself a program to pay for the dates

Did his first show that was free of the drank

Felt so proud self-esteem in the tank

3 years later putted music in the bank

Tryin to make due for the god that he thanks

Went through hell and he didn’t know why

Couldn’t know himself yet now he’s gonna try.