Johnny Tarr - Gaelic Storm

Lemme tell you a little story

About a man named Johnny Tarr

He was a hard drinking son of a preacher

Always at the bar

Lager from the tap

Or shots of Paddy from the shelf

He could open his throttle

And throw back a bottle

As quick as the Devil himself, Johnny Tarr

And the word got around

That Johnny Tarr was no pretender

From Claire to here they’d lock up the beer

When Johnny went on a bender

Down at Dickey Mack’s

The Rising Sun, or at the Swan

He was drinking at seven, by ten to eleven

Well, all the booze would be gone, Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn’t believe it

But I wouldn’t trust a person like me, if I were you

Sure I wasn’t there, I swear I have an alibi

I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it’s true

It was nine in the morning

On a cold and rainy night

Johnny rolled into the Castle Bar

Looking to get tight

He had money in his pocket

He had whiskey in his eye

He said, «Get up off your asses

And set up the glasses

I’m drinking this place dry»

Now all the serious boozers

They were soon broken hearted

When Johnny finished off six

And he was only getting started

Guzzling down the pints

Knockin' em back like candy

He was lookin' alright to be drinkin' all night

Then Nora brought out the brandy, Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn’t believe it

But I wouldn’t trust a person like me, if I were you

Sure I wasn’t there, I swear I have an alibi

I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it’s true

Johnny drank the whole damn bottle

Had another pint or two

When it made no impression

He started a session with Murphy’s Millennium Brew

He was waiting for his pint

When his face turned green

Jesus, Johnny fell down

After only fifteen

And you could’ve heard a pin drop

Then the crowd let out a roar

It took five Cork women

To lift Johnny off the floor

The doctor looked him over

And said, «Better call the hearse

But it’s not what you’re thinkin'

It wasn’t the drinkin' this man died of thirst» Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn’t believe it

But I wouldn’t trust a person like me, if I were you

Sure I wasn’t there, I swear I have an alibi

I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it’s true

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn’t believe it

But I wouldn’t trust a person like me, if I were you

Sure I wasn’t there, I swear I have an alibi

I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it’s true