Present Face - Garfunkel and Oates

Christmas comes but once a year

And mostly it is swell

But there’s an epidemic

That I think we all know well

Your smile is frozen open

There’s a crazed look in your eye

You overflow with compliments

While trying to deny

That you loathe the gift you opened

Though you try to keep your grace

Your scary grin is frozen

Don’t you know you’ve got a case of

Present face (x4)

Oh… thank you so much!

You really hoped your parents would

Give you a great big check

Instead, you got a puffy painted

Hummingbird turtleneck

You hoped for an engagement ring

Inside that tiny box

But your asshole former future husband

Only bought you socks

Now your face is all contorted

As you’re trying to erase

The truth behind your smile

Don’t you know you’ve got a case of

Present face (x4)

Oh… No, I really like it, it’s cool, I love it…

Do they see how much I hate it?

I hope that they don’t know

I can’t tell if they’re onto me

Oh, please don’t let it show

Baby Jesus got some gold

What all infants prefer

I bet he got the present face

With francencence and myhrr

Christmas and his birthday

Are both on the 25th

It must have sucked to have to open

Combination gifts

If Jesus couldn’t hide it

From his omnipresent place

You and I are doomed

To an everlasting case of

Present face (You shouldn’t have)

Present face (Just what I wanted)

Present Face (For all the times I go fishing)

Present face