Flat! - Hat Films

Hey ya’ll, straight talk ok?

There’s some flat out things I gotta say

Roundies, hear me out

Stop bending theories

It’s time to straighten things out

Edging in my bedroom got me thinkin' bout the edge

Not the guy from U2.

the fucking earth ledge

Gotta prove you roundies wrong so I strolled outside

Flat cap, flat battery, lets theorize

I took a really long stick and put it on the ground

That bitch stayed flat 'cause the Earth’s not round!

The earth is flat and i’ll prove it in this song

Just like my mountain dew that’s been out too long

My credit card, FLAT

My ruler, FLAT

This paper, FLAT

Where I live?

FLAT

The tires on my bike?

FLAT

The soda in my hand?

FLAT

My singing pitch?

FLAT

This whole world?

FLAT

Open your damn eyes — you round earth clowns

Take a quick look now the sky is up not down

If the earth is round, we’re sitting on the top

Then stuff at the bottom probably fell off

Dragons fly at the end of the Earth

Been soaring through the sky since our flat world’s birth!

You’re not believing us and calling us shmucks?

I’ll show you what’s round, take a look at deez nuts!

My credit card, FLAT

My ruler, FLAT

This paper, FLAT

Where I live?

FLAT

The tires on my bike?

FLAT

The soda in my hand?

FLAT

My singing pitch?

FLAT

This whole world?

FLAT

Clearly the moons flat, there’s no dark side

Nobody went there, NASA fucking lied

Hey roundies, hows that hot core doing?

You’re filling kids head with the shit you’re spewin'

So I took a big boat

To the edge of the world

And before my little eyes the truth unfurled

There were dragons and beasts and awful things like that

I sailed right home 'cause the world’s so flat, yeah

My credit card, FLAT

My ruler, FLAT

This paper, FLAT

Where I live?

FLAT

The tires on my bike?

FLAT

The soda in my hand?

FLAT

My singing pitch?

FLAT

This whole fucking world?

FLAT

Uh excuse me sir I believe your facts aren’t sound

The circumference of the Earth is 40 mega meters round

If the world is flat, which projection is factual?

Mercator, Gall-Peters, or maybe sinusoidal?

A globe is always right, the flat must be distorted

Which clearly means your theory is thwarted!

So the Earth, our home is an oblate spheroid

I’m dropping the truth, your theory is destroyed!

You think the earth’s flat just like your sister’s chest

Well that makes sense — you haven’t seen real breasts!

Earth is the only planet not named after a Deity

It’s a place of science, and the home of your virginity!