Halfhearted - Jessica Meuse

I never really understood just why

How to throw an investment in the dark gray sky

Like it never really happened at all when it started

Guess I’m not halfhearted

I wake up every day to the bright morning sun

I fall asleep every night think of things that I’ve done

I think of all the people and how different I could have become

I could’ve been a doctor, I could’ve been a nurse

I could’ve been better, but I could’ve been worse

Ever since the beginning, I’ve just been self-made and high-strung

So I picked up a guitar and I picked up a pen

And instead of going out, I chose to stay in

I never slept around and I never really got into drugs

I had too much self-respect to have respect from my peers

So they called me anorexic and laughed at my tears

Only a lesbian who understood an outcast ever gave me a hug

I never really understood just why

How to throw an investment in the dark gray sky

Like it never really happened at all when it started

Guess I’m not halfhearted

I hated 'em for a while for the pain I had endured

And they asked me for friendship, as if that was the cure

I tried to feel better, so I went out to every venue and played

I got on TV, and I got on the news

Kept writing my songs, and racking up views

I forgot to remember them and that was when I truly forgave

Because it’s not about their actions, it’s how you react

Do you silently fight or do you just step back?

Because haters only hate a threat that makes them feel weak

And it took me years, through the Xanax and booze

To understand the life you live is the life that you choose

Walk the walk, and practice what you preach

I never really understood just why

How to throw an investment in the dark gray sky

Like it never really happened at all when it started

Guess I’m not halfhearted

'Cause it’s about finding strength

In the mess that you make

Writing your story and filling the page

The highs and the lows

And the scars that you show or you hide

You can self-medicate

Or trash talk and hate

But you’re the only one that can stand in your way

No matter where you’re from, I’m always on your side

I never really understood just why

How to throw an investment in the dark gray sky

Like it never really happened at all when it started

Guess I’m not halfhearted

No, I never really understood just why

How to throw an investment in the dark gray sky

Like it never really happened at all, when it started

Guess I’m not halfhearted