The Very Sad Ballad of Brutus from No. 72 - Larrikin Love

I sat down in the garden

And a cat who spoke

He said, «Excuse me thats my place for sitting 'cos its in the shade»

I said, «Mr Pussy you got some tuna stuck badly in your whiskers

And there’s a rather large patch of baldness round your leg»

He said, «Shut up!

You can talk!

Look at the left side of your head!

You look like you’ve been in a bad experiment»

I said, «I'm not gonna sit here and be bullied by a cat

Especially a little ginger one like that»

He said, «Shut up you,

I’m strawberry blonde!

Out in the alley I’m like the Fonz.

All the other cats they worship me

Waving their paws in a fucking frenzie»

«Oh!

I see,

There’s not much I can say to that!

Except

In action

Let my bulldogs out the trap!»