On the First Day of Christmas - Larry The Cable Guy

Woo! Somebody done been to the WalMart

Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas

Well you cleaned up, whatcha get?

5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires

3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs

And some parts to a Mustang GT

You got gypped, there’s 12 days to Christmas!

I know that, I got it covered!

Look over there in the corner! That’s yours too?

Yeah!

12 pack of bud, 11 wrestlin' tickets

Tin a' copenhagen, 9 years probation

8 table dancers, 7 packs of redman

6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts

4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells

2 huntin' dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT

Man, these ain’t normal Christmas presents!

No, they’re Redneck Gifts! Redneck gifts?

Yeah, like if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishin' lures

Or if you can burp the entire chorus to jingle bells

Perhaps if you think that the nut cracker

Is something you did off the high dive

Or if you’ve ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights

Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus!

What’s wrong with that?

I didn’t say anything’s wrong with it, it’s hard to beat

12 pack of bud, 11 wrestlin' tickets

Tin a' copenhagen, 9 years probation

8 table dancers, 7 packs of redman

6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts

4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells

2 huntin' dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT

Well, you know, you can’t really consider it a Christmas

Unless you go down to the penitentiary and visit your Momma

You’re not listening to me, get the car key out of your ear

That’s where the 9 years probation comes in

I’m gonna do it for you again, now listen

12 pack of bud, 11 wrestlin' tickets

Tin a' copenhagen, 9 years probation

8 table dancers, 7 packs of redman

6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts

4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells

2 huntin' dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT

Are you cryin'?

No, just my allergies

Happy Holidays everybody!