Napoleon - Lena Horne, Ricardo Montalban

Napoleon’s a pastry

Bismarck is a herring

Alexander’s a crème de cacao mixed with rum

And Herbie Hoover is a vacuum

Columbus is a circle and a day off

Pershing is a square, what a pay-off

Julius Caesar is just a salad on a shelf

So, little brother, get wise to yourself

Life’s a bowl and it’s full of cherry pits

Play it big and it throws you for a loop

That’s the way with fate, comes today, we’re great

Comes tomorrow, we’re tomato soup

Napoleon’s a pastry

Get this under your brow

What once useta be a roosta'

Is just a dusta' now

Napoleon’s a pastry

DuBarry is a lipstick

Pompadour’s a hairdo

Good Queen Mary just floats along from pier to pier

Venus De Milo is a pink brassiere

Sir Gladstone is a bag, ain’t it shocking?

And the mighty Kaiser, just a stocking

The Czar of Russia is now a jar of caviar

And Cleopatra is a black cigar

Yes, my honey lamb, Swift is just a ham

Lincoln’s a tunnel, Coolidge is a dam

Yes, my noble lads, comes today, we’re fads

Comes tomorrow, we are subway ads

Homer is just a swat

Get this under your brow

All these bigwig controversials

Are just commercials now

Better get your jug of wine

And loaf of love

Before that final vow

Napoleon’s a pastry

Caesar is a salad

Get it while you’re able