Willywork - Mark Douglas

Have you ever had an uninvited guest?

Why did you wear sweatpants the day she wore that dress?

You put a book on it, your woody wouldn’t quit

Think of disgusting things and don’t encourage it

And then it starts to ache, zipper’s about to break

You’re using every trick to try to tame your trouser snake

Listen and listen good, don' t cover up your wood

A woody never should

Ever have to be caged or blocked

Unlock your jock

Just let it pop

Like a jack in the box

Show 'em that your willy works

A stiffy shouldn’t have to hurt

Make em scream «oh my god»

As you shock 'em with your lightning rod

Baby, let your mojo rise

It doesn’t matter what the size

You don’t have to feel ashamed

Like Miley it just can’t be tamed

Boing, boing, boing

Even bigger than a Boeing, Boeing, Boeing

Sometimes it can be annoying-noying-noying

But now your confidence is growing

Put your package on display

Even if they scream and run away

You’re the jockey of your one-eyed horse

I’m talking bout your dong, of course

Someday when you’re old and bored

You’ll wish that you had shown it more

It’s the reason that the world was born

Every girl believes in unicorns

Doing, ding, dong

Someday random chubbies will be gone

Doing, ding, dong

Can’t believe I wrote a whole schlong song