Message No. 419 - MC Frontalot

Was just like a scene in an intrigue film

And I’m still not convinced that it wasn’t for real

Got a message number 4 1 9

Got a message number 4, 1, 9

Got a message number 4 1 9

This lucky day’s mine all mine

This isn’t intended for me, I don’t think

It’s a missive from the edge of despair, I mean brink

Of total desperation;

the communication therein

Says her hopes for survival are slim

And she’s writing to the Front, though we’ve yet to meet

With a confidential matter ‘cause she’s heard I’m discreet

And the urgency of her request for my aid

Is matched by the depth of the trust she displayed

«Don't betray me like our oil minister did (staged a coup)

And I’m about to flee Nigeria soon

But I’ll never make it out,» she says, with twenty million

Three hundred twenty thousand US dollars that are still in

Her possession.

She embezzled them, I guess

Look, I don’t really know her so uh… that’s none of my business

She’s the LADY MARYAM ABACHA, deposed

These days, can’t even get her caps-lock key unfroze

But yo, something about a widow in distress

With 20 million dollars hidden in a metal chest

Softened up the Frontalot’s heart, no doubt

So I hit the reply button, tell her I can help her out

Got a message number 4 1 9

Got a message number 4, 1, 9

Got a message number 4 1 9

This lucky day’s mine all mine

She writes me back: DEAR FRONTALOT, UNITED STATES…

She acts so thankful.

A bank full of money awaits!

And I hate delays so I’m quick to turn around

With my full name and the number to my checking account

And the scan of my license to drive an automobile

And my passport number, proving Frontalot’s for real!

Then I’ll meet the money in Stockholm.

Ain’t gonna walk home

Think I’ll retire to the south of Spain and sip gazpacho

Not so quick, there’s a little problem:

LADY A apparently had difficulty running all them

Numbers I give her.

But look, the fake ID’s my only one

And that’s a real passport — I got it off usenet and checked

I’m not dumb.

I’m not some idiot

Who’s about to lose your money for you quicker than I’m getting it

And of course my bank balance is negative;

whose isn’t?

That’s why I need your 20% money laundering commission

And I’m wishing I could talk about this further with you but I can’t

I just got an email from DR.

UBUGU of Chad

He’s got a hundred and seventy-seven million in a bag

Feel I got to help him ‘cause his story is so sad

Got a message number 4 1 9

Got a message number 4, 1, 9

Got a message number 4 1 9

This lucky day’s mine all mine

Was just like a scene in an intrigue film

And I’m still not convinced that it wasn’t for real