Secret Track - Miracles of Modern Science

Now listen here, young sonny Jim,

and I’ll tell you how I lost my limbs.

One day, when I was playing darts,

I punctured all my body parts.

I quelled the pain by downing gin

which worked until gang green set in.

Oh doctor, my fate’s looking grim,

but can’t you please restore my limbs?

I’m sorry son,

you came too late.

We’re going to have to amputate!

Oh, very good.

The operation, now complete

Devoid of arms, legs, hands or feet

I slither home

only to find

my wife being rooted from behind.

And oh, it hurts my heart to see

such vile, atrocious sodomy.

But before I can even speak

she screams, «Away, you limbless freak!»

«You bean of a man!»

I saw my baby with a sideburn?

I saw my baby with a robot?

I saw my baby with a mwkmfeknjn?

I saw my baby with a ROO?

I saw my baby with a BLAAAHRH?

I saw my baby with a EFWJOFOEF?

I saw my baby with a waterbear!

I saw my baby with a dingo!

I saw my baby with a wwwwaaha?

But oh my dear, I shot in his face.

I simply have my limbs replaced

With robot legs, with which to trot,

And robot claws to crush your life.