Bagpipes (That's My Bag) - Ray Stevens

Well, blowin' that bagpipe, that’s my bag

Hu-huffin' and a-puffin' on my bagpipe bag

Wheezin' and a-blowin' 'til my big fat floppy jowls sag

Make it sound like a train comin' over the trestle

If I blowed it any harder, I could bust a blood vessel

Blowin' that bagpipe bag -- OW!

That’s my bag

Ready, set, gonna blow a little bit…

(vocal bagpipe break)

He came over the water on a boat from Scotland

To the U. S., started him a rock and roll band

Playin' for picnics, parties, cookouts and parades

He’d stand on the bandstand in his red plaid kilt

Groovin' on his bag, how the melody would lilt

Played up at Harvard and down in Vanderbilt

He’s a mess, huh huh, wears a dress

Well, blowin' that bagpipe, that’s my bag

Hu-huffin' and a-puffin' on my bagpipe bag

Wheezin' and a-blowin' 'til my big fat floppy jowls sag

Make it sound like the whistle on a big ol' train

If I blowed it any harder, I could bust a blood vein

Blowin' that bagpipe bag -- OW!

That’s my bag

One, two… gon' blow some for you

(vocal bagpipe solo)

Well, his name was Patrick Alfred Muldoon

Never got up 'til it was late in the afternoon

Practiced all night… you hum it, he could play it,

Any tune, yeah

And he’d blow up flat tires to keep his lungs in shape

And his face would turn purple like a big fat grape

Ev’ry time he cut out on the chorus of «Claire de Lune»

Well, blowin' that bagpipe, that’s my bag

Hu-huffin' and a-puffin' on my bagpipe bag

Wheezin' that thing 'til my big fat floppy jowls sag

Make it sound like a train comin' over the trestle

If I blowed it any harder, I could bust a blood vessel, huh

Blowin' that bagpipe bag -- OW!

That’s my bag

Ready, set… here we go again!

(Vocal bagpipe outro)