The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything - Relient K

«And now it’s time for silly songs with Larry

The part of the show

Where Larry comes out and sings a silly song

«Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mister Lunt

Who together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags

'The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything'»

We are the pirates who don’t do anything

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

We’ll just tell you we don’t do anything

Well, I’ve never been to Greenland

And I’ve never been to Denver

And I’ve never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul

And I’ve never been to Moscow

And I’ve never been to Tampa

And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

We’re the pirates who don’t do anything

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

We’ll just tell you we don’t do anything

And I’ve never hoist the mainstay

And I’ve never swabbed the poop deck

And I’ve never veer to starboard

'Cause I never sail at all

And I’ve never walked the gangplank

And I’ve never owned a parrot

And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause were the pirates who don’t do anything

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

We’ll just tell you we don’t do anything

Well, I’ve never plucked a rooster

And I’m not too good at ping pong

And I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes

Up against the wall

And I’ve never kissed a chipmunk

And I’ve never gotten head lice

And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

Huh?

What are you talking about?

What does a rooster or mashed potatoes

Have to do with being a pirate?

Hey, that’s right

We’re supposed to sing about pirate-y things

And who’s ever kissed a chipmunk?

That’s just nonsense, why even bring it up?

Am I right?

What do you think?

I think you look like Cap’n Crunch

Huh?

No I don’t

Do too

Do not

You’re making me hungry

That’s it, you’re walking the plank

Says who?

Says the Cap’n

Oh yeah?

Aye, aye, Cap’n Crunch, he he he

Arrrgh

Yikes

And I’ve never licked a spark plug

And I’ve never sniffed a stinkbug

And I’ve never painted daises

On a big red rubber ball

And I’ve never bathed in yogurt

And I don’t look good in leggings

You just don’t get it

And we’ve never been to Boston in the fall