How Did I Get to Where I Am? - Ruthie Henshall

How did I get to where I am?

How could I let it get so bad?

Why did I ever let him go,

The one good thing I ever had?

Why did I drift so far from home,

To live my life outside the rules

Among the clowns, among the fools?

I loved the dazzle and the light,

The sweet seductions of the night.

When men of means were everywhere

They used my bed, they slept elsewhere.

I never asked what badge they wore,

They left their passports at the door,

And every man was just one more.

And then at last one came my way

He saw behind the mask I wore

He made the world seem bright and gay

He saw me as a girl once more

How did I get to where I am?

How I come to be alone

And love the only love I’ve known?

He’s gone.

The one love I have known.

With each untruth, with each mistake,

I learned that time and youth don’t wait,

That China Dolls can fall and break

That sometimes saviours come too late.

The one good thing I ever had.

Why did I ever let him go?

How did I let it get so bad?

How did I get to where I am?