The Peoples Douche - Spose

I’m sorry to interrupt your evening at the eatery

But I’m about to freak what you believe unbelievably

You will see, every time Sparker, comma, Peter speaks

It’s bacon for the Jews and gay marriage for the Jesus freaks

VHS tapes flying out the red box

All the Yankee’s fans cheering for the Red Sox

And the neo nazis all growing dread locks

Listenin' to Erykah Badu until their head nods

I got Facebook accounts for the Amish

Throw a little steak in while I’m makin' Vegans omelettes

Democrats out hunting in the forestry

Republicans giving tax cuts to minorities

All the beer snobs chillin', sippin' Natty Ice

While I take a bachelor and match him with a battered wife

Got the Hipsters clothes shopping at Walmart

Hanging with the B-Team, acting like they’re all stars

Unplugging tanning booths in Little Italy

Hanging with some country music fans bumping Lil B

Making A&R's spit bars and vans

While I’m reading poetry to some Nascar fans

Look, it’s Peter Sparker in this bitch, I’m the people’s douche

And I will never quit until the day I see the poor become the rich

Or the rich become the poor, so they’re holding open doors

For the single moms who buy their food up at the dollar store

I got some alpha males thinking they’re lame

Donald Trump just asked me for spare change

The Westboro Baptist Church is having gay sex

While I got the sneaker heads shopping up in Payless

Then I got the teenagers all leaving social media

And reading what a library is on Wikipedia

I could make a morning person sleep into the evening

Shit, I got Lebron James moving back to Cleveland

I could get the housewives to all stop gossiping

And get the Taliban starting all girls colleges (colleges)

Illiterate people, they all want to read about it

Let’s do something sweet and not tweet about it

Dead beat dads asking where the diapers are

Drag queens all dancing in the biker bar

Jocks giving geeks props as the pass in the hall

I got Kobe Bryant passing the ball, come on

Look, it’s Peter Sparker in this bitch, I’m the people’s douche

And I will never quit until the day I see the poor become the rich

Or the rich become the poor, so they’re holding open doors

For the single moms who buy their food up at the dollar store

Man the day is gonna come, when the bosses will be generous

And all the employees will get some benefits, for once

And until the day it does, you know I’m your fucking bud

It’s the people’s douche, now let me see those dirty hands up!

Put your hands up

If you only got a dollar in your pocket and that shit ain’t enough

Put your hands up

Put your hands up

If you’re not here to put 'em up ‘cause you had to work and couldn’t come

Look, it’s Peter Sparker in this bitch, I’m the people’s douche

And I will never quit until the day I see the poor become the rich

Or the rich become the poor, so they’re holding open doors

For the single moms who buy their food up at the dollar store

Man the day is gonna come, when the bosses will be generous

And all the employees will get some benefits, for once

And until the day it does, you know I’m your fucking bud

It’s the people’s douche, now let me see those dirty hands up!