Holding Back Tears - Apollo Brown, Stik Figa

Look, was never lyrical but read a couple books

Was more than criminal, I empathized with crooks

Life give the minimal, so scraps is what we took

So, when it’s critical no time to be shook

Ain’t say I’m hood, but my neighbors ain’t invite me in

Made them uncomfortable, I used to wish for lighter skin

I used to hate myself, my mind is sick is my defense

Low self-esteem, not aligning more with righteous men

Since Tiwanne died my mind kind of switched

Another homicide lied on the dry cement

I couldn’t even cry, all I wanted was revenge

Some wounds never heal, even time couldn’t fix

The tide I’m against

In a ship ready to capsize

In troubled waters, I guess I’m getting baptized

Ask for forgiveness for every time that I backslide

Would be a miracle, drown in hate for the last time

Holding back tears, going back years

Ain’t want to feel pain, I let go of that fear

I been holding back tears (tears)

I been holding back tears (tears)

I been holding back tears, going back years

Ain’t want to feel pain, I let go of that fear

I been holding back tears (holding back tears)

Look, was never any good with matters of the heart

Don’t hand me yours if you been fragile from the start

Not skilled in discipline or mastering the art

Designer fabrics are more flattering with scars

I’m a flawed man, ah man

Look, glad my salvation wasn’t left into y’all hands

If you ain’t never had to scrape, scratch or crawl man

I don’t need your opinion cause you an off brand

Now try and picture my frame of mind

Portraits developed in dark rooms, it’s taking time

A fine craft on display with a great design

Often at a loss for words, but I can make it rhyme

I guess I’m saying that I’m on a soul search

And when all that glitters ain’t gold barely denotes worth

Numb the pain, the liquor says that it don’t hurt

Holding back tears, I’m praying to God I don’t burst

I’m holding back tears, going back years

Ain’t want to feel pain, I let go of that fear

I been holding back tears (tears)

Holding back tears (tears)

I been holding back tears, going back years

Ain’t want to feel pain, I let go of that fear

I been holding back tears (holding back tears)

I been holding back tears (holding back tears)

But I, bear the burden, share the sermon

Tell the truth then, share my purpose

The time’s now it’s never been more urgent

The time’s now it’s never been more urgent

I bear the burden, share the sermon

Tell the truth then, share my purpose

The time’s now it’s never been more urgent

The time’s now it’s never been more urgent

I been holding back tears