To Fall Apart - Suffocate for Fuck Sake

A life about to fall apart

What have I become?

As the gaze turns inward

A spiral of thoughts

Wave the white flag

And let the black one bow

A successful, talented, sensible and smart person in so many aspects,

but I didn‘t want to stop gambling since I know I am good at it… That feeling

was so strong that I always returned to it.

Life was about to fall apart when

it actually looked very good on the outside, and then I asked for help from a

person who had gone through a twelve-step program and who I had seen had a

completely different life.

To be calm, b balanced and actually seemed happy as

well

So I mad that call and asked for help for the first time for real.

I said to another addict «please help me, I can not take it anymore».

This was the first time in my life that I have ever done this