After Party - The Lonely Island, Santigold

After the club is the after party

After the party is the hotel lobby

After that, you know it’s Dom and Cris

And after that, I say, 'Excuse me, miss'

And after that, we goin' back to the room

And after that, she’s gonna leave real soon

And after that, I crack one more beer

And after that, I just stare in the mirror

And after that, I start freakin' out

What the hell am I doing with my life?

Call up my mom and get my cry on

I order room service, get my apple pie on

And after that, I just walk the streets

A homeless dude throws up on my feet

And I see just how pointless life is

Full-on existential crisis

Tear off my clothes and scream at the sky

Fall to my knees and ask God «Why?»

This nightlife is killing me

I think I’m losing my mind

I yearn to fly, yet I sink

Cristal and tears is my drink

After that, I drive into the hills

And trade my car for a bottle of pills

And after that, I’m on a vision quest

Put my mind, body, and soul to the test

And after that, I meet my totem spirit

It’s a rattlesnake, so I have to kill it

Then I drink all his blood and steal his powers

Slither around in the dirt for hours

And after that I start jerking off

Up on a mountain, jerking off

Down by the river, jerking off

And that’s when I have my epiphany

You can’t spend your whole life jerking off

And after that, I’m going back to the city

This nightlife is killing me

No more jerking off

Fate only knows what’s in store

Crystalline tears for me no more

And after that, I clean up my life

Join AA to make it right

And after that, I get my thirty day chip

And after that, I go celibate

And after that, I’m a whole new man

Brew kombucha in my hybrid van

I give my life to meditation

Then sleep with a whore at a Greyhound station

And after that, I have a full relapse

Then lose my hand in a game of craps

And after that, everyone calls me Claw

And after that, I work for Tim McGraw (Hey!)

And after that, I pass out in a sewer

Meet a giant fish, fuck his brains out

And after, that I’m filled with shame

No one but myself to blame

Nothing in my heart but pain

And next week we’re gonna do it again!

This nightlife’s got it’s hooks in me

I’m back to jerking off

I tried but could not break free

Crystalline tears return to me

Started in the club, then he moved to the Hills

Then he freaked out and drank snake blood

Got himself clean, now back in the club

And that’s what happened in this song

Crystalline tears, this playboy life’s too much for me

After the club is the after party

After the party is the hotel lobby

Stuck in a cycle I just can’t win

And after that, it all happens again