Daddy, Where Did I Come From? - The Nice

So I wonder why when the pie in the sky

Gets green at the edge, jumps a senile hedge

And asks questions

So I asked my ma, and she said ask your pa

And he said ask your ma, and wonders why his kids ask questions

So you fill me up with the gooseberry bush, and tales of the stork

And you tell me to hush when I ask questions

(synthesized)

Daddy, where do I come from?

(spoken, man)

Well son, you rather caught your old dad on the hop

I suppose the birds and the bees they won’t do, no, no they won’t do

Think of flowers, the flower carrying the seed, yeah that’s mommy

Mommy the flower, and your daddy sort of fornicates the flower

No, no, pollinates, fornicates, pollinates

No son, you didn’t just grow in the garden

No, daddy didn’t pick you

No, you stayed with the flower

And you sort of grew and grew and grew, and suddenly you’re you

That won’t do son?

No, uh, well, it’s the best I can do

(spoken, boy)

No daddy, the fertilization occurs when the male seeds reach the female egg

You’re drunk, you’re drunk

With your back teeth floating in a gallon of booze

You can’t even work out how to fasten your shoes

You get yourself into such a state

You’re found drunk in charge of a roller skate

It’s no small wonder that you can’t even answer questions