Resilient - Vices

I can’t seem to go a day

Without my sense of self worth

Being crushed by the people around me

I’m the only one to blame

For my Sadistic choice of company

A whole life spent inside my mind

Always smiled and said I’m fine

I’m becoming somewhat resilient

To these so called friends opinions

I don’t know how I’m supposed to relate to anyone

When I can’t make sense of my head

I can’t expect anyone to understand it

Not a single thought just passes by

Everyone of them gets trapped inside my mind

I thoughtsome things were forever

When we sailed on this endeavour

But the places I called home

Were never set in stone

I wish someone had of told me

Because I loved you all like family

Thought it would go either way

When it was me in need you stay

And If I had my time again

I’d keep it all inside my head

Because Honesty gets you nowhere

In this backwards world

Where fake smiles and puffed up rhetoric

Have more value than anything authentic

Trailing dark thoughts to their endth degree

Doesn’t leave much room to work on things like personality

On my best days I’m amused but jaded

I’m starting to find consciousness rather overrated