Errant Dog - Ben Folds

Have you seen that dog?

I gotta get him back

I had him tied to a tree, but he keeps getting out

He’s probably running loose with the bitches

And when I catch him, I’ll give him some stitches

Oh I love him so much.

Oh that stupid bitch is mine

Errant dog!

Errant dog!

They’re talking down at the spa, now the word is out

God damn I look like a tool when he goes running around

I’m gonna take him on Court TV

And show the world what he’s done to me

I’ll drag his ass back home, back where his ass belongs

Errant dog!

Errant dog!

He’s my everything, he means the world to me

He’s my hopes and dreams, fungible property

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with his shit

If I could, I would become a lesbian

I know I said dead or alive, but really dead is fine

Just bring him here

Errant dog!

Errant dog!