Pickin' Boogers (Best Of) - Biz Markie

Now this may sound disgusting and like very gross

But it’s sure to have you trippin', so yo, listen close

It’s not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar

But it’s rather on the bug tip and it’s called Pickin' Boogers

Now what I’m MCin' might not seem kosher to you

But it’s still somethin' we all have to do

So go up your nose with a finger or two

And pull out one or a crusty crew

Yo, don’t try to front like it’s so gloomy and gray

'Cause we all pick our boogers some time every day

Whether out in the open or on a sneak tip

With a finger, tissue, or even a Q-Tip

Take it from the Biz Markie because I’m jokin'

And also, remember this slogan

«Hey, ma, what’s for dinner?

Go up your nose and pick a winner»

Pickin' Boogers (4x)

Let me tell you what happened on the train, man

I was coolin' one day with my partner Kane

Headed up to the Rooftop, ridin' the D train

When the man sittin' next to me was so profane

He’d stick his finger up his nose, then do a drain

(You should 'a moved)

I was just about, but all of a sudden, homeboy just pulled out

A big green slimy — nah, I’m not neven gonna say it

But it weighed a good pound if you tried to weigh it

He sat there for a while with it in his hand

So I tried to play cool and like ignore the man

So I laid my head back to catch a quick a nap

All of a sudden he plucked it dead in my lap

Now Kane sat there laughing like it was all a joke

But a brother like Biz Markie had almost choked

So I dug up my nose and pulled out about five

And plucked every last one of them dead in his eye

Then the man jumped up and said «What's wrong with you?»

And wiped them off his face and said «I can’t mess with you!»

Like if I did something that was so full of shame

But yo, you got to know the name of the game

Hmmm…

Now let me take a trip down memory lane

Back in public school with my partner Kane

When I was class clown, and he was my brother

Sittin' at the desk pluckin' boogers at each other

Never doin' work as we was supposed

'Cause we was too busy diggin' up our nose

And in the lunchroom you would talk about rude

God forbid the person that’d leave his food

No matter who you are we didn’t give a damn

We even put teachers down with the program

Whether if it was a woman or if you a man

We put boogers on our fingers then shake ya hand

Catch anyone from anywhere

But the best fun about it catchin' Kane out there

Especially when we playin' ball in the gym

I put boogers on the basketball and pass it to him

Now we’re grown up and things have changed

But we still be playin' the pickin' boogers game

Just last night, when Kane was gettin' ready

I slipped a little green one inside his spaghetti

Let me tell you what happened to me with this girl…

One night at Latin Quarters I was standin' at ease

I saw this gorgeous young lady that I wanted to skeez

I didn’t show enough that I really did want it

So, no half steppin', I pushed up on it

Pulled out the gold cable and I knocked her with phat

Had a spotlight beamin' on my Biz Marck hat

But when she stepped in the light and she got real close

I saw a tiny weeny booger on the tip of her nose

She was dressed real def and her body was hooked

But that dried up booger just ruined her look

I wanted to tell her about it but I couldn’t be bold

So I played if off and said «that's a cute green mole»

I was hopin' from that she would wipe it away

But she didn’t do nothin' I guess she wanted it to stay

I said before you get my number, I don’t mean to diss you

But write it in your hand because you’re gonna need the tissue