Cheese - Tim Minchin

Cheese

I love cheese, but it’s plain to see

That cheese… doesn’t love me

I am such a fool in love

I just cannot get enough

But it’s an unrequited love

I can feel it in my guts

I spend the nights, tossing and turning

My stomach is churning

My heart is a-burning

My nightmares are turning upon me and shame me

To drive me insane, oh the pain, I complain, on my brain

And I wake up, with sweat on my brow

I know I gotta give it up and I must do it now

But instead in the morning when my wife is gone

I find myself back on

And I know that it’s wrong but I’m soon navigating

To real mature stuff and skanky old ladies

Feeding my fetish for fettered old fetta

Photos of friesian on beds of bruschetta

The worse they smell, the more they swing

The faster the speed, my mouth gets wet, oh god!

Ooh!

Oh!

J’adore le fromage

Mais le fromage ne pas adore me

Rien, je ne regrette rien

'Cept perhaps last night’s half-wheel of double cream brie

Trying to replace my fondues with fon-don'ts

Trying to develop strength of will, but I know that I won’t

I have found love is never fair

We should be such a marvellous pair

But each time I bring her home she goes and renders me comatose

And leaves me self loathing slumped on my chair

I cannot camen-bear it anymore

E-damn you, mon amour

Everytime I lead you through the door

I end up curled up on the floor

Oh god, my poor heart is too sore, so no more!

But before I give you up, I just need one more tiny taste

To leave you like this, would be a criminal waste

Just one more tiny taste, darling please

Just one more little sliver of C-H-E-E-S-E

Cheese!

Cheese

Funky, funky, funky, funky cheese

Cheese!

Oh cheese!

Cheese!