Lullaby - Tim Minchin

Sleep, little baby, sleep now my love

The milky way’s shining, high up above.

When you grow up, you will learn all that stuff,

But now, close your eyes,

Close your eyes.

Sleep little baby, try not to squalk.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, you’ll learn how to walk.

To love and laugh, Make toast/to totter and talk,

But for now, beddie byes

Your blanket’s hand knitted, with pure angora wool,

Your nappy is dry and your tummy is full

Of enough antihistamine, to chill out a bull,

Yet still all this grindging.

What more, could you want?

For I just can not guess.

You constantly complain to me,

You should feel blessed,

There are children in Africa starving to death,

And you dont here them whinging.

What else, can I do to put a stop to,

This mind numbing noise you are making?

Where is the line between patting and hitting?

When is rocking rocking, and when is it shaking?

I dont know what else I can do, to try and hush you

My heart says I love you but my brain’s thinking fuck you

And hoping a child trafficer will abduct you,

At least then I’d get a few hours in bed.

I’ve shushed, and I’ve cooed

And I’ve even tried to sing Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da,

In the exact voice of Ringo

Now all I have left,

Is to hope, that a dingo will sneak in and rip off your fat bitching head.

Oh hush, little baby, dont say a word!

Papa’s gonna buy you a mocking bird,

In the hope you’ll get Avian Flu, The nice folk in ANE will take care of you

That’s it, close your eyes, shhh, not a sound

I can barely see your tiny chest moving up and down

One thing they don’t mention in the parenting book

Your love for them grows, the closer to death they look