SAVE MYSELF - Ryan Oakes

I hang my head

Locked inside of my bedroom, I’ll be fine

Right now, I’m saving my breath

I’m sick of wasting my time

This for all the times that I bled

And all the pain that I felt

I’ll use the lies that I’m fed to fuckin' save myself

Scared to pick that lock that’s hiding my subconscious

Way too young to be knowing all of these toxins

Twelve years old, I was sippin' on concoctions

Tryna tell the world that I think I’m all out of options

Screaming out for help with the whole world watching

It was entertaining, it fueled their gossip

I was just a little kid when I flipped that faucet, went unconscious

Like fuck it I’ma found out who God is

No one ever found out about that day

So they kept on giving me back pains

They didn’t care if I was stuck in a bad place

It made my brain sicker than the Black Plague, now

I’m having panic attacks when I’m alone and I don’t sleep

Fingers down my throat between the meals I wouldn’t eat

When I hit rock bottom, and I wanted to retreat

I just crawled back up to my damn feet

I hang my head

Locked inside of my bedroom, I’ll be fine

Right now, I’m saving my breath

I’m sick of wasting my time

This for all the times that I bled

And all the pain that I felt

I’ll use the lies that I’m fed to fuckin' save myself

Bottled up inside, I never learned a way to grieve

Can’t blame myself, 'cause ever since I was a teen

Everyone I found too close to me would leave

I would hold on too long even when they’d cheat

Happened three times, but the fourth girl was a treat

She manipulated all my insecurities

I would pull her weight for weeks while we wouldn’t speak

Held up her world while she would kick me in the knees

I been thinking hard about that day

When I told her it was our last day together

She decided to take all of that pain

And try to overdose, memory is a bad lane

That I’ma never drive down, she don’t deserve it, that’s OD

Permanent imprints from all of the anxieties

Still burn my soul so bad it’s a third-degree

But I’m still not accepting defeat

I hang my head

Locked inside of my bedroom, I’ll be fine

Right now, I’m saving my breath

I’m sick of wasting my time

This for all the times that I bled

And all the pain that I felt

I’ll use the lies that I’m fed to fuckin' save myself

I won’t break

Break (I guess I’ll save myself)

I won’t break

Break (I guess I’ll save myself)